Wednesday we did some honey harvesting. Jacob was off of work, and the day was crisp and fall-ish, and the baby was napping. Everything was perfect, so I holed myself in a corner with a blanket over my head while Jacob tackled the first of his two hives.

The last time we tried to harvest honey, I was haunted by one of the bees for three days. My father - who caught the beekeeping fever from Jacob - explained that this bee was a guard bee, and once you've gotten a guard bee riled up there's nothing to do but sting or be stung. He thought it was unusual that the bee hung around for so many days, but after Jacob killed her, I wasn't bothered by a single other bee. So I know it was the same bee, and I know she had it out for me.

I'm still a little scarred. I mean - let's not be overdramatic - I have two beehives so close to my front door that I could spit on them, and I'm cool with that. I just don't love them like I used to. I no longer feel like they're our pets. I leave them alone; they leave me alone.

When Jacob told me he was harvesting Wednesday, I closed every window in the house and completely refused to help. We wouldn't be having any incidents like last time...or that was the plan...until Jacob needed to bring the comb inside. Anyway. Long story short. We opened the door. He passed in the comb. A bee buzzed in with it, and seconds later the bee was in my hair and I was jumping around the house and whipping my hair like a mad woman. I was helpless because Jacob was stuck outside with bees still crawling all over his hood. He really wasn't too concerned though: he'd been stung about eight times by then and figured I could handle it myself. And I did. Necessity mothered some invention in the way of a no-special-tools-needed bee trap for longhaired people, and I feel pretty brilliant about it. Check it:

That's right. There's a bee in there. Bees go for your eyes, so a couple hair whips will snag them in your tresses, and then all you have to do is twist. Bee. Trapped. And dead. Jacob fished it out after he took the photo. Not a believer?? Take two:

This was taken this morning when we came back in the house after running errands because, no, they hadn't settled down 48 hours later, and, yes, they hate me.

See how much calmer I am in the second photo? That's because my Hair Twist Bee Trap is awesome. With the way things have been going, I'm sure I'll have a chance to test it out a few more times. Jacob is very amused by how the bees seem to target me. He told me today: "Maybe they're jealous...I mean, I'm kind of like their pimp and you're like my main squeeze..."

Right.

Anyhow. The end of our story is a sweet one.

  Honey

Yes, those are dead bees collecting on the table; and, no, the fact that the straining comb looks like a hefty bosom is not lost on us - we just embrace it, and let the jokes abound.

What I Wore to Thanksgiving Dinner

Well, Grace, you pretty pleased me right out of the closet, so now the whole internet gets to see what I ate turkey in yesterday. 

Pictured while standing on the coffee table in front of the map-wall and looking at my toes.  

Outfit details:

Shirt: Anthro ages ago

Belt: Gifted thrift

Jeans: Ross last year

Jacket: Thrifted in college

Shoes: Iceland (the country)
 
Necklace: Gift from my dad and brothers a few years ago and and I've hardly taken it off since. Designed by a dear friend, and you can find it on sale here.

Now go eat your leftovers and click around to see the other Turkey Outfits.

Tuesdays

Tuesdays are the days where I play working mom. 

I wake up at a leisurely 7:30 or so, and lie in bed with Jacob while the JakeRamsay toddler destroys the living room.

We get up, drink tea lattes, and Jacob makes french toast. We try vainly to keep Mr. Mannerless from throwing food on the floor. Sit on the porch and talk about the bees and the squash in the garden. 

At 9:45, Jacob trips off to work because that's how offices in LA roll. It's about this time that I remember that I have to teach and I have exactly 1 hour and 45 minutes to get myself and the greasy little boy packed up and out the door. Then life looks like this:

Scramble together some lunch and (sometimes even) dinner for myself. 

Trick Jake into barricading himself in the pack'n'play.



Shower in peace. 

Wash. 
Dry. 
Coconut oil to the face. 
Coconut oil/Baking Soda/Cornstarch blend to the armpits. (You know it!)

Streak past toddler in pack'n'play

Stare at closet trying to find the magic overlap where shirt-without-holes overlaps with outfit-I-haven't-taught-in-this-semester.

Curse because I never go shopping.
Curse because imprisoned toddler is now - rightfully - throwing a fit. Extricate toddler.

Return to bedroom and land the perfect outfit where professional meets academic meets young enough meets old enough meets you-will-be-safe-when-you-sit-on-your-desk-in-front-of-your-students...meets quit dreaming and put your stupid clothes on so Jake will stop pulling off your underwear and we can all get on with our lives.

Shovel toddler into high chair - again - to force lunch down his throat before he goes to my friend's house.

Fumble through my primping ritual because I'm woefully untrained.
Eye-shadow.
Food in Jake's mouth.
Mascara.
Food in Jake's mouth.
Consider styling my hair.
Food in Jake's mouth. 
Forget about styling my hair. 

Pack the baby's bag and my bag and my lunch. Clothe and shoe the baby. Rapidly pick up the house so it won't look like a warzone when Papa gets home tonight. Sling three bags over my shoulder. Free Jake because he's climbed back into the pack'n'play. Secure him at my hip, and begin the 43 step trek up to the street.

Huff. Huff. Huff. Quads. Quads. Quads. Arrive at the street level. Hair clinging to neck. Toddler clinging to hair. Bag straps gouging into collar bones. Pray that none of the neighbors are out to watch me rock the beast of burden in heels look.

Leave 15 minutes late. Turn on Spanish talk radio and reach back to periodically pinch toddler to keep him awake.

Arrive at friend/babysitter's. Carefully place the note I've written to the Beverly Hills Parking Enforcement on the dashboard since I'm not permitted to park on the street (and tickets run a whopping 93$...hmm...how do I know this...) 

Take Jake up to my friend's apartment as he repeats "Hi Joe Joe." "Hi Joe Joe." over and over. Deposit him on my friend's floor - with Joe Joe. Get an aggressive hand-wave and a loud emphatic "BYE!" as he runs off to fresher and greener toys. (So much for healthy attachment...)

Arrive at school and luckily score a parking spot near the elevators. (This is one of my charisms.) 

Trot to my office and find students waiting at my door. Meet with students. 

Exhale.

Prep. Photocopy. Update Spreadsheets. Answer e-mails. Eat some food.

Walk to class with Wendy. Vent about students.  

Class starts at 4:30. Stupid questions. Bland discussion. Sleepy faces. Mediocre workshop groups.

Eat dinner in between classes at 7:00. Call home to here my child bid me goodnight: "Nynyma" - and then immediately ask to nurse - "Nu?"

Teach second class. Joke around with them because I like these kids more. Meet with student at the break. Meet with student after class. 

10pm begins the long eerie walk across campus in the dark. 

Come home to my lanky husband and some leftovers. Click around the internet. Check next week's grocery deals at Sprouts. 

Borrow Jacob's toothbrush because mine is still in Texas.

Sleep.

One Jakeboy and Three Uncles Texaning it Up

We returned late yesterday from our four day jaunt. Going back home is always such a whirlwind. The time zone change makes for late nights and groggy mornings. My mom always has some type of new coffee gadget - this time it was a milk-frother - which helps those groggy mornings. There are so many people to see and conversations to be had, and I always feel like I'm being cut in half when I leave.  

It was a great age to take Jake because he speaks "ball" and so do my brothers. So here at least is the uncle time of our trip.


Basketball is certainly the fave, but he's pretty indiscriminate. 

On the inside looking out at a pingpong game.

 

A little trip to my Alma Mater's football game found us under the Friday Night Lights. Jake stood at the sidelines and leaned so far forward with his mouth hanging open, he almost fell over. He got some action on the field after the game.
 

So let this be the jock portion of the trip updates, and I'll soon gleefully post the girlier one. Signing off with three pics of three different uncles and the same toddler three times.

 

 

I know. I know. Shamelessly photo-heavy. Perhaps I'll have more words for you when the semester is over in four weeks - but I'll probably have an equally lame excuse for lack of energy by then, so don't count on it.  

Off to the TX

 West LA was a chilly gray this morning which added some lovely spice to my chai. I sipped on it sporadically while running after a toddler and making breakfast and packing for our trip to Texas this evening.

Fall is a very reflective season as the cold begins to chill your bones, and since California only gives me winks of sub 75 I have to embrace those moments and wax poetical. So here I sit. Baby napping. House Cleaned. Packed for our Trip this Afternoon. Say what?!? That's right, girlies and Jake's uncles, this mama's got her shiznit in a row this morning. I've been a little inspired because I've got Texas on my horizon.

We're headed to see my folks in Fburg in a few hours. An old friend is getting married, and the fam's having a mini reunion that will have to substitute for the holidays. I'm so excited. I get to meet this man and this lady.

I get to go for a jog on my old road with my dad and maybe some of these fools.



All except for pink shirt who's still slummin it Italian style. But I'm trying not to think about that. Instead, I'm thinking about this.



The rustic beauty and big skies of the homeland.

Classroom and Baby's Room

 From The Classroom

I have been in a grading hole for the past two weeks. Which means I've been grading student work, sending frantic text messages to Jacob begging him to come home early, and Googling things like "unsupervised activities for toddlers." Productivity be mine.

I realize I only go to work once a week, and thus I should lemonade my lemons or something, but this semester is DOING. ME. IN.

I complain about teaching incessantly, but it has it's moments. And since I've finished my mountain of grading, I'm inclined to share some with you because they've afforded me some gems this semester. Though nothing quite as good as last semester.

One of my students recently asked me if I'd been to "teacher school."

One of them wrote about "conventions" but consistently misspelled it as "convections."

Still another went to a "recession" for her friend's quinceanera.

Then there was this classic: "My coach came over because he could tell that my well-being was bothered...but I kept optimistic thoughts filtering throughout my mind."

Perhaps one needs to have been steeped in grading for days upon days for the above to amusing, but I thought I'd share them just the same.

From the Baby's Room

In babyland we've been welcoming in the new season with a doozy of a cold and feeling mostly like this.

 
And mom is getting to RUIN JAKE'S LIFE!!!!!! every fifteen minutes when she tries to tackle snot river. He is living with a constant film of crusted boogers on his face because I can't stay on top of all the runniness, and once it's dried well...game over....because as far as he's concerned getting his mug cleaned is nothing short of being waterboarded...and I'm a softie.

Other than that I've been letting him have free reign of destruction so I have time for schoolwork.



And we still throw tantrums whenever mom attempts a photo shoot.



I bet you thought when I gave you a real update you'd get something, I don't know...interesting? unusual? Pumpkin patch? Halloween Costume? Sorry. 

But in other and VERY good news, my friend Jessie has finally crossed the bridge from stalker to blogger, and I couldn't be happier about it. So you should definitely click on over.

Don't forget to keep optimistic thoughts filtering throughout your minds! And Happy Hallow's to all of you!