Today was a tough one.

Not the parenting day I would submit for consideration. Anywhere. Let's just say: I'm becoming increasingly and blatantly aware of my shortcomings as a human being.

Now don't go contradicting me. I know I'm a "great mom" - that's why I'm treating myself to some great vino this evening while the menfolk work long hours at the remodel.

In an effort to keep me from dwelling on the frustrations of this "phase," I want to share one of the sweetest things about it.

It is this:

When I put Lucy June to bed I sing to her.

She rests her head on my chest, and she sings with me.

It's a bit of a cat-like groan noise, but it's her song. It's our song.

And my heart might burst just thinking about it. 

That's what I got for what's left of your Tuesday night. Cheers.

Before I Had a Seven Year Old: Susan of Sole Searching Mama

Today I'm welcoming Susan for an installment in the Before I Had a Seven Year Old series. Susan writes at the lovely Sole Searching Mama about pounding pavement and the sugar and spice of mothering six boys. I'm so excited to have her sharing some of her early parenting stories (which just *might* include shattering a mug against a wall) here today!!!!

How many kids do you have and how old are they?
We have 6 boys, ages 13, 11, 9, 7, 3 and 12 weeks

What are the biggest differences in your home life now that you have slightly biggers running around and not just really littles?
One big difference is that the older boys are able to share in many of the responsibilities of daily family life, which is an incredible help to me. I am still very busy as a mom, with a large family there are many activities to attend, homeschooling requires significant time and attention, and of course the household chores are never-ending. But, when the older boys are able to help clean, do dishes, bathe younger siblings or fold laundry, I don’t feel quite as overwhelmed, knowing I can count on them! Another difference is that my husband and I really have to work together as a team to meet the needs and goals of children of such varying ages. For example, our oldest sons may want to do more challenging activities such as hunting, fishing or four-wheeling, things that the little ones cannot participate in. And, the little ones need to have the opportunity to do those things which the big kids would not enjoy as much such as playing at the park. So, we have to work together to teach all of the children to be patient with one another and to accept that in a large family there will always be a lot of give and take.

What's something you miss about that stage of only really littles?
I miss napping with them! And, I also miss how simple our days were - yes, there were many chores to attend to back then as well, but aside from cleaning and laundry, there was plenty of precious time for play-dates with other families, sitting down to read great big piles of our favorite books, and best of all being outdoors playing in the yard, riding bikes, exploring, etc.

What are some things you did with your first baby that in hindsight seem a little ridiculous?
Oh, my! Where do I begin??!! I think just trying to be that “textbook” mom who does everything right step-by-step was completely ridiculous! There is an enormous learning curve to being a first-time mom, especially for those of us who never had the opportunity to gain some mothering experience by helping our own moms raise little siblings. I worried and fussed way too much over everything with our firstborn, I even insisted that we have a wipe warmer for those sweet baby buns and that I make his own organic baby food. Who was that girl, and what was she thinking?!

What's something you stressed about that doesn't stress you out at all anymore?
The #1 thing that stressed me out was trying to please everyone around me. I really bought into the idea that if everyone else approved of the way I was caring for my child, from what he ate to how often he napped, that I must be doing a great job as a mom. If they disapproved or disagreed, then I must be failing. I think that deep down I feared that because I chose to stay home instead of taking the career path, that people would think I was taking the “easy” path in life, therefore I had to prove that I could do this “easy” job. My anxiety over everyone else’s opinions of me caused a great deal of self-imposed worry and stress that was truly unnecessary. I wish I could go back and tell myself to trust my instincts, to listen only to the seasoned experts who share their wisdom with loving concern for me and my child and to relax and enjoy the journey!

Describe a moment, if you can remember one, where you definitely did not have it together.
I remember a very specific time a couple of years ago when life on the farm was very hectic. I was trying to manage everything at home while Steve was working tremendously long hours. At the end of “one of those days” with the boys, they had literally stepped on my last nerve. In my moment of frustration, while cleaning up the kitchen, I threw a coffee mug at the wall (the boys were in another room). Honestly, hearing it shatter released a load of anxiety, but when I realized my 7 year old saw me do it, I felt regret for being such a poor example to him. That was probably about the time when I discovered the benefits that a glass of wine can offer!!

How do you conquer nap strikes? 
Thankfully, most of my boys have all been great nappers, but my 3 year old is currently at a stage where he doesn’t want to nap anymore. I have found that the only way to ensure that we all get that 30 minutes - 1 hour of quiet time every afternoon for rest, reading, prayer etc., is for me to be consistent with my expectations of him. Some days I have to put him back in his room 10 times, which is exhausting, but he’s starting to figure out that I’m not going to budge! This is also one area where I don’t mind offering rewards to our kids if they nap. Since we don’t enjoy sweets very often, sometimes it’s a piece of gum, a small piece of candy, or giving them the option to watch a 30 minute show of their choice works well, too. Lucky for me, these small things are still enough incentive to get them to stay in their rooms for the duration of our “quiet time.”

How did you find time to encourage your marriage?
Just two weeks after saying “I do!” we found out we were expecting. Our first and second sons are only 17 months apart, so all of our time and attention was focused on babies, work and survival for the first few years of our marriage. Over time, however, we have realized that we need to nurture our marriage just as much as we need to nurture our family! We try to get away together for a weekend at least once a year, which is always nice, but honestly, it’s knowing how to seize the little moments during the day that are the secret to staying connected. Whether it’s pausing from daily chores for a long hug and a few words of appreciation or letting the dishes go in the evening so we can sit outside and visit while the kids play during the evening, those simple opportunities really do add up and have a great way of strengthening our marriage. I also like to leave notes in Steve’s truck that he can see as he heads off to work, and we text and call each other during the day. It’s fun to be flirty during in the midst of the craziness of parenthood!

What was your hardest transition after having a newborn? 0 to 1 kid? 1 to 2? Why?
For me the hardest transition was definitely from 2 to 3. The reason for this was really an issue of pride - my pride - had to be broken! I felt like I could handle everything that came with just two littles. I had the time, energy and will to take care of the children as well as the housekeeping, laundry, errands and bill paying all by myself. I really didn’t ever ask Steve for help with these things. Then, after our third son was born, I remember one morning I was struggling to get everyone ready for church (while Steve was doing who-knows-what). Time was running out and my hair was wet, I wasn’t dressed, the baby had a blow out and still needed to nurse. I was reduced to tears and sat crying on the nursery floor when my husband came in and said, “Honey, do you need some help? Just ask!” Of course my pride was screaming, “Why don’t you just take notice and offer to help!” But, I soon realized that as wives and mothers we have to make our needs known and trust that those who love us will be understanding and ready to help when we ask.

If you could go back and tell something to your newmom self, what would it be?
I would tell that girl to RELAX! Enjoy the journey! Don’t worry too much about what other’s think you should be doing as a mother. Savor that precious time with your little ones because, when they get older and have so many activities and responsibilities that require you do be stretched in different directions, you will miss the simplicity of life. You will miss their sweet “littleness.” Opportunities for napping together, going for nature walks, playing games, doing crafts and reading books will become fewer and fewer, and you will miss those early days so very much!

Thank you so much to Susan!!! 

If you're interested in reading more Before I Had a Seven Year Old posts you can find a whole heap of them right HERE.

On Cabinetry and Flooring

The kitchen remodel is in full swing. The boys (Jacob and my little brother) have redone the cabinets from scratch. That wasn't the intention. We'd planned on reusing the old cabinet boxes and just putting on new doors, but once the old cabinet doors were ripped out, they showed their true colors and their condition was just...poor.

I love that they're redoing all the cabinets. We could've just coughed up some serious dinero on new cabinets, but this way they're learning a lot and enjoying it so much, and to watch your people create something so substantial and useful is just fun.

We're going to model our cabinet doors after these ones from IKEA.

  

>><<

If we're staying true to Jacob's carpentry genes with our cabinetry, on the flipside, we're taking the low road with the floors. After ripping up three layers of linoleum (gross gross gross) and considering lots of different options, it looks like we're landing on Tundra laminate flooring from IKEA.

Can't beat the price and it's pretty durable, but it's still laminate and it makes the snobby naturalista in me squirm. What are your thoughts on laminate flooring??? (Help me feel better.)

>><<

I've been able to help with some of the paint, but my contribution to the remodel is still mostly babysitting and letting youtube How-To videos serenade my evening: table saws and drills and backwoodsy accents saying things like:

"What we have here is a failed kitchen cabinet drawer."

"Installing these floors by yourself is frustrating as f***."

And on that lovely note, I'm off to read some dePaola with the minion while the baby snoozes. Have a nice Tuesday!

How Gracefully You Handle the Mess

Last Sunday at Mass was a pretty typical one for our family.

The kids did well for the first fifteen minutes or so, and then began to devolve. Jake started playing "mean monster" with the kid behind us who wasn't playing it back, and Lucy June started in on some lovely back arching because we wouldn't let her loose on a chin-tucked speed crawl to the altar.

It wasn't too bad. Just par.

But we were seated behind some friends* of ours with six kids. Their oldest is about thirteen and their youngest two are the same ages as ours. The older kids - all boys - were sitting quietly and respectfully. The three year old was asleep in the pew and the baby was asleep in her father's arms. At one point the mom stood up with the three year old and whispered something to her husband right before walking out. The father stood up a moment later and handed off the sleeping baby to the 11 year old. He followed after his wife. The baby - still asleep - nestled into her older brother's neck.

The kids sat and listened to the homily. I wrangled my daughter and watched them. I was seriously almost teary at how sweet the scene was. These unsupervised boys being so good in Mass and so gently taking care of their baby sister. The father returned and soon after the mother came back with the three year old son. They both turned their attention back to Mass. I was so impressed by all of them. These kids. The parents who raised them.

Anyhow on our way home later, I was telling Jacob about how sweet I'd found it. Cooing over that sweet big brother holding his little sister and how good the kids had been when their parents stepped out, and Jacob was like,

"Yeah. I was talking to their dad after Mass and apparently Gabriel peed everywhere. He woke up rather disoriented and just peed all over the pew."

"What?!"

"Didn't you see his dad come back in with towels? He said they'd totally lucked out with an extra pair of pants in the diaper bag."

I was so surprised. The narrative I had in my head began to unravel, the narrative of this family who so "totally had it together" - this couple whose children united to function like some well-oiled machine - were really just another family whose three year old pees his pants in Mass. Initially, I was a little devastated because they were a sign that the insanity probably never ends.

But then slowly the narrative began to reweave itself. I saw the father in his coat and tie grabbing wads of paper towels in the bathroom, grasping those towels in his hand as he genuflects and enters the pew. Then I could see the mom in her silk scarf and heels squatting in the bathroom as she worked wet pants off a little boy and then rifled through the diaper bag with her fingers crossed. Meanwhile the other kids were totally unfazed by the pool of urine in the pew.

And then I smiled: I'd been more right about that family than I'd realized. I turned to Jacob and said, "They are so cool."

"I know." Jacob said. "We should invite ourselves over."

>><<

With that little story in mind, I made you a little inspirational poster. Yes you. Just you.

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*(Also, the parents in this story are none other than our couple crush - we're kinda buds with them now. Just kinda. We're playing the long, not too over eager game.)

>><<

And now for some unrelated and potentially overexposed photos because someone's been playing with fire in manual mode.

Mucho mas to learn about this tricky camera. So far I put my progress at an "eh."

Ciao for now :)

Baked Oatmeal Muffins

Oatmeal.

It's cheap. It's filling. It's easy. It's gluten free. Did I mention it's cheap? Well it's cheap.

And.......it's.........boring.

Unless you put your back into it just a little little bit. And bake it. Then it's cheap, filling, still pretty easy, still gluten free.

And.......DELICIOUS!!

There are lots of baked oatmeal recipes floating around the internet. My Baked Oatmeal Muffin recipe is a spin off of this one, but that one calls for WAY too much sugar and the final product is a little too crumbly. Jake has full body fits when his baked goods fall apart, so no can do for our resident tyrant. He actually won't let anyone but me make them anymore after one particularly crumbly experience when his father was at the baking helm.

Baked Oatmeal Muffins
Makes 12 muffins.

3 c. oats
1 c. water
1/2 c. milk (almond milk, coconut milk, whatever milk)
2 eggs
1/2 c. coconut oil
2 t. vanilla
1/2 c. sugar
2 t. baking powder
1 t. salt
1 t. cinnamon
3/4 c. fixins (blueberries, dried cranberries. . . chocolate chips . . .)

Preheat oven to 350. Oil a muffin tin. Mix together the oats, water, milk, eggs, vanilla, and coconut oil, and set aside. In a separate bowl mix together sugar, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon. Combine the dry bowl with the wet bowl. Mix well. Stir in your fixins. Spoon batter into your muffin tin and bake until set and the tops are beginning to brown. About 12 minutes.

*******DISCLAIMER*******The muffins will tend to fall apart if you don't let them cool a little in the pan. This may not be a big deal if your eaters are. . . rational.

Enjoy!!

Toddler Paintings turned Geometric Notecards

The menfolk are off texturing and painting at the new house, and so I'm home alone on a Saturday morning...watching a three year old whose love language is Elmer's glue. All the kid wants to do is cut (with big kid scissors) and paste (with Elmer's).

This isn't my favorite kiddo activity. It's kind of adorable, but it also requires near constant supervision. It does. At least with my three year old. I left him alone with his Elmer's the other day for five minutes and I came back to find him attempting to glue his feet to the floor. I have a pretty high tolerance for mayhem if it guarantees some minutos alone with instagram in the bathroom, but even I draw the line somewhere.

So yesterday when I hauled out our kiddo craft box and set him to slicing and sticking and shuffled through the ever growing pile of toddler artwork, I remembered something that as a mother it would serve me well to remember more often: If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

And truth be told, I'm a sucker for crafting so Jake comes by it honestly.

I started with a stack of Jake's artwork, and began some clipping and some Mod Podging and some Eric Carle channeling.

 And pretty soon, voila.

   

Here they are, chock full of sentimentality and ready for me to write some words on the back and send them off to a grandmother or two.

Happy Saturday Crafting!

7 Quick Takes: Water Kefir, Crocheting, and My 3 Year Old Astronaut

- 1 -

Are you an Arrested Development fan? We are. I probably should've written Arrested Development into our love story. Did you see these motivational posters inspired by Lucille Bluth?

- 2 -

I ordered more Kefir Grains from Cultures for Health. I haven't made our own Water Kefir (or Tibicos) since I was pregnant with Lucy June. But I'm very excited to start again. I've dispatched Jacob to buy and consume some Grolsch Beers, so I can reuse the bottles for Water Kefir.

Any other Water Kefir lovers out there? Or are you Kombucha people? In the great Water Kefir vs. Kombucha debate, I stand pretty firmly in the Kefir Camp. It's easier to make than Kombucha because it involves no heating, and it doesn't taste...well...so Kombucha-y.

- 3 -

Thanks for your feedback on my closet doors post about our house remodel. There is absolutely no consensus over what we should do...but you all gave me a lot to think about, and I love you for it. I bring you up when we're having little meetings about the remodel. And don't you know I feel fancy. I get to say things like: "Well, my readers think we should..." Which is very useful in the perpetual game of Me vs. The Boys, and elicits no eye rolls at all.

Jacob actually said I was getting too emotional over the design choices. Which is ABSOLUTELY UNTRUE AND UNFAIR!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!

!!

- 4 -

I've been crocheting again.

Last Sunday, the temperature dropped below 80, and all I could think about was my crochet hook. So I put down my beach reads (the last of which was quite the disappointment) and I've picked up work on a blanket for Lucy June. I started it before she was born and haven't worked on it in months and months. I've always planned to finish it before she turned one. That's next month.

- 5 -

With crocheting comes TV watching. I watch a lot more TV when I have yarn-y projects to finish, and the shows have to fall into a nice little zone of entertaining enough but not so good that I get distracted away from my work. Shows like Downtown cannot be embroidered through. The recent episode of crocheting has been brought to you by Once.

Do you watch Once?

 I liked Season 1 but then cooled to it in Season 2. Now I'm watching season 3 on Netflix, and I'm liking it better than I remembered.

[Never was there ever a more brilliant Quick Take: So there's this show, and it's OK, and I like it.]

- 6 -

Jake is currently obsessed with all things Rockets and Space. He's constantly throwing me imaginary tethers so I don't float away. He builds rockets and launch pads and docking stations with legos. His favorite planet is Jupiter. He manipulates his voice so he sounds like he's coming through a radio. The only way I can put a diaper on him for naps is by calling it a space harness. And then I get lots of variations of this:

8  9  40  7  8  4  BLAST OFF!!!!!

My son is a boy. And a nerdy one?

- 7 -

Did I tell you we took the kids to Bluebell Creameries in Brenham a few weeks ago? I can't remember. Probably. But since I just pulled the pictures off the camera you're going to get a rerun.

We went to Brenham to see the Bluebell Factory. I'd never been there despite my native Texanism and Bluebell fanaticism. We couldn't take any pictures of the factory so instead we took lots of pictures of the kids with their hands on an ice cream truck.

- 7.5 -

I'm sure you've all read Blythe's post about taking her kiddos to watch her brother's band. But if you haven't...Off you go. Off you go. It's so great.

Happy Weekend!

Linking up with Jen