From The Classroom

I have been in a grading hole for the past two weeks. Which means I've been grading student work, sending frantic text messages to Jacob begging him to come home early, and Googling things like "unsupervised activities for toddlers." Productivity be mine.

I realize I only go to work once a week, and thus I should lemonade my lemons or something, but this semester is DOING. ME. IN.

I complain about teaching incessantly, but it has it's moments. And since I've finished my mountain of grading, I'm inclined to share some with you because they've afforded me some gems this semester. Though nothing quite as good as last semester.

One of my students recently asked me if I'd been to "teacher school."

One of them wrote about "conventions" but consistently misspelled it as "convections."

Still another went to a "recession" for her friend's quinceanera.

Then there was this classic: "My coach came over because he could tell that my well-being was bothered...but I kept optimistic thoughts filtering throughout my mind."

Perhaps one needs to have been steeped in grading for days upon days for the above to amusing, but I thought I'd share them just the same.

From the Baby's Room

In babyland we've been welcoming in the new season with a doozy of a cold and feeling mostly like this.

 
And mom is getting to RUIN JAKE'S LIFE!!!!!! every fifteen minutes when she tries to tackle snot river. He is living with a constant film of crusted boogers on his face because I can't stay on top of all the runniness, and once it's dried well...game over....because as far as he's concerned getting his mug cleaned is nothing short of being waterboarded...and I'm a softie.

Other than that I've been letting him have free reign of destruction so I have time for schoolwork.



And we still throw tantrums whenever mom attempts a photo shoot.



I bet you thought when I gave you a real update you'd get something, I don't know...interesting? unusual? Pumpkin patch? Halloween Costume? Sorry. 

But in other and VERY good news, my friend Jessie has finally crossed the bridge from stalker to blogger, and I couldn't be happier about it. So you should definitely click on over.

Don't forget to keep optimistic thoughts filtering throughout your minds! And Happy Hallow's to all of you!

Just For You

 Such is the man I married.

[And, yes...my Gmail is in Italian...I'm pretentious like that.]

7 Quick Takes

I'm gleefully ignoring the queue of student papers that need feedback in favor of generating some of my own words. So off to the quicks with Jen we go.

- 1 -

What oh what shall I acquaint you with? The Gparents Ramsay were in town last weekend and it was marvelous. It was lovely and relaxing and lovely and relaxing. 

My folks do a lot of traveling to visit their various and distant beloveds, so they made it very clear that they had no expectations of elaborate schedules and merely wanted to be with their grandson. So that is what we did. We ate and drank and watched toddler antics all weekend. Seeing my son through their eyes made me realize how quickly he's growing and how little time I spend just...watching him.

- 2 -

Now that they are gone I have returned to the land of list-making and doing everything I can to get Jake interested in some game/toy/project long enough for me to feel productive. Productivity is kind of like a plague.

- 3 -

Jacob hosted a poker night with his Hollywood boys last night. They drank port and smoked cigars and argued about big and little blinds and talked about "their" (i.e. their bosses') movies. "We've got the rights to that book." "Congrats on Looper, dude." "We just signed Jake Gylenhaal." - How glamorous it all sounds, right?

I'd trade it all for a real yard and some chickens.

- 4 -

On both of those notes, now that Season 2 of The Walking Dead is on Netflix, we've been watching ourselves some wonderful post-apocalyptic (my fav and a half!) TV recently. Revolution gets a big fat lame-o in my book, but I'm probably gonna give it a few more episodes. 

Jacob and I have determined that we would kinda rock it sans electricity. We'd make a stand here in So Cal for a little while before we felt brave enough to tackle the desert and hike to Texas. However, Jacob says he couldn't choose that lifestyle if it were a choice - he wouldn't find value in merely forgoing electricity in order to embrace a more back to the earth existence. I see his point even with all my off-the-grid proclivities. But he's the one who made me look away from the ultra-sound screen so we could be "surprised" just like in the olden days, so I think that makes him rather inconsistent, and he should probably make up for it by getting me some chickens.

- 5 -

I'm thinking about doing a sugar detox now that the lovely Mrs. Patton is rocking the 21 day challenge. Don't tell Jacob it was Grace's idea because I've almost sold him on it and I think he'll balk if I'm doing it to "be like Grace." He thinks my long time dependence on the old CP is unhealthy. But you know what I say to that? There are plenty of others just like me.

- 6 -

My dad and I ran the Catholic Exchange Virtual 5K last weekend - my first and last run of the month of September. We clocked in at a tepid 26:56. Perhaps it would've been more impressive if I weren't half dead and dry heaving for a solid five minutes afterwards. Dad was positively chipper throughout the whole ordeal.

It didn't quite have the fanfare of other 5Ks I've run: sorely lacking in the sponsored snacks department. But I was accosted by a naked toddler upon my return and that was most definitely a first.

- 7 -

Last but not least I suppose I shall tell you about...

...hmmm...

Oh yes!! Homemade soda!!! My kefir water is the awesomest of the awesome, and I feel like a crunchy diva. The flavor you are about to witness is Probiotic Peach Vanilla. See it to believe it.

(Be warned: If you follow the above link, know that you'll most certainly run into a video of Jake's newest trick: putting two words together while completely naked.) 

- 7.5 -

And just to clarify.

My toddler does - on occasion - wear clothes.

JakeBoy

I've decided - as my lesson plan appears to be done for tomorrow and I'm moderately organized and my kitchen is clean and my baby is sleeping - to give you all a long overdue update on the offspring and all that he is up to because...well I hardly EVER talk about him and he does SO many things...it just seemed right.

Jake's words:

"bah" - Ball

"bah bah" - Papa

"bah bye duh"- Bye

 "mmmama" - Mama

"hiiiiiiiey" - Hi

"da da" - Bathtime

"da da" - All done

"tchoo" - Shoe
"go" - Go
"go go"  - anything that moves when you push it
"na na" - night night
"na na" - banana
"NO" (pause) "NO" - you said this the last time I was doing this thing

Jake has become royally obsessed with "tchoos"/shoes recently. He's been insisting on wearing a pair that is two sizes too big and adds some serious duck to his waddle.

Yesterday when he woke up from his nap he called for me, and I - being the stellar mother that I am - promptly checked on him five minutes later. But he'd found solace elsewhere.

  

Beyond eating shoes in his sleep, he likes to play with water on the porch while half-naked.

I'm interested to know how people parented before there were hoses.

Now you're updated. (But if you're not satisfied, you can go here to see how brilliant my baby is at playing Hide and Seek.)

Abu Visits and Jake Watches Sharks on Uncle John's Computer

Hello hello hello hello hello hello.

I'm venturing out from underneath my rock on this lovely afternoon (still in my PJs, but that's why I like you people so much).

Not much has been going down in our tinier than tiny corner of SoCal besides me doing my best not to be overwhelmed by school. I'm only teaching one day a week this semester which I thought would be WAY easier than two days a week, but it's not, it's nuts. I spend the days before gearing up for my massive Tuesday of interaction with 18 year olds, then I spend the days after wandering around my house doing nothing but making To Do lists with my child bumbling around my ankles. After I've amassed all the admirable tasks I can think of, it is time to teach again. And so the cycle continues.

More notably, Jacob's mother visited last week. 

 
It was a jolly good time. She had Jake doing things like this:



In her best Montessorial efforts to keep him from doing things like this:

But Siri and he eventually melted her hippy heart. 



Other than that, the word on the streets is: babies. My Facebook feed is completely awash with pink and squishy newborns (and that's saying a lot...because my Facebook has its fair share on the regular.) 

Two of those little bundles belong to a couple dear friends from childhood.

Go feast your eyes on this little adventurer here. And satisfy your birth-story-hungry ears.

The other new mom *gasp* doesn't blog?!?! Join me now in an unprecedented effort to cheer her into the bloggy world: BLOG! BRYNN! BLOG! BRYNN! BLOG! BRYNN!

Yes. Brynn. That's her name. And her new baby's name is Piper Joy. And they have a dog that's bigger than both mama and baby put together named Waffles. Now you can go back up three lines and chant with a little more forza.

That is all, as I must away and tend to Mr. Afternoon Nap Refusal. Ta ta.

Lethargy

Sorry I went dark again. School started back on Tuesday, and I'm still recovering from how productive I've had to be the last two weeks. And I'm lethargic because it's HOT. Going back to school is supposed to be tinged with autumn and pumpkin spiced stuff. Sweaters get me in school mode, but right now sweaters make me want to gag. Between the heat and the fact that Jacob's working late tonight, I was ready to put Jake and myself down for the night at about 3.

Actually, I'm considering making Jake live in his crib until he develops more coordination.

Because the nightmare of all nightmarish milestones is upon us: Jake has learned to climb.

Whenever he encounters a new largish object, he immediately lifts his leg and tries to get a foothold on it. This has all but ruined my life both because I'm always having to get him down from things and because I'm sure he's going to learn how to climb his way out of the porchplaypen and plummet to his death. 

Today I was fussing with our dinky washing machine because I thought I'd broken it, when I heard the Jake-just-fell-off-something thud. But there was no crying baby, just a sick silence. I called Jake's name. Nothing. I ran out onto the porch and looked over the ledge. No baby. I ran into the bedroom. No baby. I turned back into the living room - the very room I'd just run back and forth through three times - and there he was perched happily on the back corner of the couch. My scurrying and screaming was quite the show apparently because he started cracking up. 

The sound I heard was just the little monster lifting the banjo that hangs behind the couch and slamming it against the wall. Brilliant.  

So I cuddled him on the couch, stroking his wispy hair while I settled down my racing heart and thought about how dear he was to me...for about 2 minutes, before I went back and started fussing with the washing machine again and he returned to his climbing expeditions. 

So that's my dud of a story. It's all I can muster right now. 

Well...after that things got real and baby started dancing on the table. And I recorded him because that's how we roll.

In the good news tent because I'm already feeling a little better about life than I was, oh,  three lines ago:

My washing machine is fine. (Tying up loose ends. It's essential for good storytelling.)

My sourdough is bubbling away, and I've become a sourdough pancake maestra. Tomorrow I shall try my hand again at some bread. My first loaf was a Fail McFail and my second was perhaps a C-. So...only the finest in my kitchen.

Now

Go make coconut milk with Farrah because it doesn't get any cooler than that.

Or go visit Lara and make yourself at home in her beautiful blog while you wait patiently for her to post about her new little bundle because that's what I'll be doing. 

Pick Up Ball

Jake wasn't racking up any points in the independent play department today, so I went off in search of something "new" for him to play with. At this point in time, my husband and I have managed to maintain our elitism about what "kinds" of "toys" our child plays with. Our house is not overrun with plastic monstrosities. How have we achieved this brilliant feat??

Short answer: We only have one kid, and he's only had one Christmas.

Longer answer: Who needs toys when you've got a crafty genius like me for a mother? All of you lucky readers get to read about how today, I donned my DIY hat and rigged us up a basketball hoop.

Voila.

 Supplies: Cardboard Box and Belt

Instructions: Tie it onto something.

And then have yourself (in the pretty-much-only words of my son) a "ball ball ball."

Based on my experience today, the game will quickly devolve after you bring out the camera.

So...fair warning.

Happy Balling.