The last time we tried to harvest honey, I was haunted by one of the bees for three days. My father - who caught the beekeeping fever from Jacob - explained that this bee was a guard bee, and once you've gotten a guard bee riled up there's nothing to do but sting or be stung. He thought it was unusual that the bee hung around for so many days, but after Jacob killed her, I wasn't bothered by a single other bee. So I know it was the same bee, and I know she had it out for me.
I'm still a little scarred. I mean - let's not be overdramatic - I have two beehives so close to my front door that I could spit on them, and I'm cool with that. I just don't love them like I used to. I no longer feel like they're our pets. I leave them alone; they leave me alone.
When Jacob told me he was harvesting Wednesday, I closed every window in the house and completely refused to help. We wouldn't be having any incidents like last time...or that was the plan...until Jacob needed to bring the comb inside. Anyway. Long story short. We opened the door. He passed in the comb. A bee buzzed in with it, and seconds later the bee was in my hair and I was jumping around the house and whipping my hair like a mad woman. I was helpless because Jacob was stuck outside with bees still crawling all over his hood. He really wasn't too concerned though: he'd been stung about eight times by then and figured I could handle it myself. And I did. Necessity mothered some invention in the way of a no-special-tools-needed bee trap for longhaired people, and I feel pretty brilliant about it. Check it:
That's right. There's a bee in there. Bees go for your eyes, so a couple hair whips will snag them in your tresses, and then all you have to do is twist. Bee. Trapped. And dead. Jacob fished it out after he took the photo. Not a believer?? Take two:
This was taken this morning when we came back in the house after running errands because, no, they hadn't settled down 48 hours later, and, yes, they hate me.
See how much calmer I am in the second photo? That's because my Hair Twist Bee Trap is awesome. With the way things have been going, I'm sure I'll have a chance to test it out a few more times. Jacob is very amused by how the bees seem to target me. He told me today: "Maybe they're jealous...I mean, I'm kind of like their pimp and you're like my main squeeze..."
Anyhow. The end of our story is a sweet one.
Yes, those are dead bees collecting on the table; and, no, the fact that the straining comb looks like a hefty bosom is not lost on us - we just embrace it, and let the jokes abound.