Kelly of This Ain't the Lyceum is here today for this episode of Before I Had a Seven Year Old. If you aren't familiar with Kelly, the rapping homesteader that she is, you probably need to stop your life and acquaint yourself with her blog. And if you haven't checked out her son rockin' the waves in his new chair, it's a must MUST.

How many kids do you have and how old are they?

Five, Addie 11, Byron 10, Edith 8, Fulton 6 and Teddy 3.

What are the biggest differences in your home life now that you have slightly biggers running around and not just really littles?I don’t have to do everything myself during the day. My older kids unload the dishwasher, clear the table, collect eggs from the hen house, walk the dog, sweep, make themselves meals, etc., etc. If one of my older kids wants something THEY CAN GET IT THEMSELVES. Even if it’s up high, they get out the stepstool. Older kids are also great for getting things for younger kids. So while I don’t get to lounge around all day and eat bon bons, it’s HUGE having so many kids capable of doing things for themselves and others.

What's something you miss about that stage of only really littles?

I need to copycat Kendra here and say the freedom. You can breeze through Pre-K, K and, um, even some of those other lower grades, but once your kids are in public/ private elementary school or homeschooling older grades you don't have the freedom to just up and do something fun. We do still plan beach days or field trips but the older kids know they’re certain subjects they’ll have to make up and instruments will still needed practiced by the end of the day. When everyone was little, I would try getting out of the house almost every day either for errands or social events but now, we need time at home to get some learning done. Plus, evening and weekend activities start encroaching on family time so we have to make an effort to schedule things like family visits to the aquarium, otherwise they might get lost in the shuffle.

What are some things you did with your first baby that in hindsight seem a little ridiculous?
Due to unrealistic expectations, I spent a lot of time discipling her before the age of two. (I cringed typing that.) Addie was an early talker and seemed very old for her age so I expected a lot of her, too much in fact. When she disobeyed I disciplined her severely. I realize now how developmentally inappropriate it was, (she was still learning right from wrong for goodness sake!) but as I had no experience with little children and I was terrified of having a spoiled brat, I over compensated to the point of absurdity. I still apologize to her for what I did, and thankfully she laughs at me for being a bad mom and then she explains how much better of a mom she’ll be, so apparently, no therapy is necessary for now.

Have you ever (metaphorically...or literally) locked yourself in the bathroom to stay sane?
Actually, for the first four or five years after we had kids, I always went to the bathroom with the door open. One, so I could keep and eye and ear on everyone and two, I got sick of the banging on the door. However once everyone got older, it was requested I keep the door shut and so now the bathroom is my go to place for peace, quiet and catching up on my Feedly. I’m not sure if the older kids have caught on yet or if they think I just have a tiny bladder.

Describe a moment, if you can remember one, where you definitely did not have it together.
If you ask my older kids, they will probably remember many times when they noticed Mama lock herself in her bedroom and then they’d hear me screaming into a pillow and punching the mattress. When the kids were all little, and I was almost always pregnant or nursing I had a lot of days that felt completely overwhelming. But now, I can’t think of the last time I had a melt down like that. Maybe because of age, experience, older kids; I’m not sure, but I know that the days of feeling like “I can’t do this” followed by a collapse into tears, or hysterical call to my husband at work, are rare if not non-existent.

What's an expectation for yourself/your kids/your husband that you have totally let go of?
That I could bake bread for us all. I let go of that long before I even had to give up gluten. At the end of the day, the kids will have to settle for store bought honey wheat bread and I have accepted that that doesn't make me the world’s worst mother.

How do you conquer nap strikes?
My kids transitioned from naps to quiet time. Even once they stopped sleeping, there was a set time every afternoon when they had to stay in bed quietly and read or play. That afternoon time saved my sanity many a time and it taught my kids that yes, you can entertain yourself quietly, alone for an extended period of time. I never was able to stick to much of a schedule with my kids, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t get them all on the same afternoon nap/ quiet time schedule even if it meant totally messing with the newest baby’s sleep patterns.

What's one specific thing you're glad that you've taught your older children?
Obedience. I’m not saying we don’t have our bad days and as the older ones get older there is some back talk but probably 95 percent of the time when I tell my kids to do something, they do it right away. Since Addie and Byron were toddlers, I’ve had the same set of rules posted on the refrigerator, and the ones in capital letters are “Obey Mama and Papa the first time you’re told to do something without sass or complaint. Do then ask.” and “Once given an answer, don’t ask again.” Any time these rules were broken, there was a consequence. Period. Yes, it was hard and when I got lax things would get out of control, but now that I’ve put in the hard work, the results speak for themselves. Having very clear rules from the get go meant everyone was on the same page as to what was expected. Now, I don’t waste time arguing with my kids. When I say, everyone out to the van, everyone goes to the van. When I say, pick up the mudroom and sweep the floor, it’s done. When I say schooltime, everyone gets to their desk.

What was your hardest transition after having a newborn? 0 to 1 kid? 1 to 2? 6 to 7? Why?
The first child was the hardest for me. I was so clueless as to what I should be doing, plus I was six hours from family and had no local friends with babies. And there were no other young couples at our parish. There were no blogs or online support groups. I felt utterly alone, wondering why having a baby wasn’t this wonderful experience, when I learned just after Addie turned three months, I was pregnant again. I was like, seriously God, I have no idea what I’m doing here and you’re sending us another one???? All in all, it made for a very bumpy ride for Addie’s first year. We moved shortly after Byron was born to be close to family and while I was still the only person in my circle of friends (or parish) to have two young children, the family help made it easier the next go round. After all that, numbers three, four and five seemed to be pieces of cake.

If you could go back and tell something to your newmom self, what would it be?
I wish I could’ve found a community of supportive moms where I was, but it was hard being in an unfamiliar city and in the early days of the internet. (Good grief, could I make myself sound any older?) Finding a community now is so much easier and SO IMPORTANT. I would’ve been so much happier had I found just one or two other moms I could’ve chatted with over coffee on a regular basis. Part of me thought I could muscle through it alone and that’s probably why it sucked. No mom needs to face the trials of motherhood alone, nor should she. Traditionally women had supportive communities surrounding them. Today that safety net is harder, but it’s worth the effort.

For more Before I Had a Seven Year Old posts: check out Kendra, Bonnie, Christy, and Colleen.

Notes from the Remodel

The remodel is progressing. Or regressing perhaps. There's been a lot more ripping walls out than framing new ones, but good things often start by a breakdown of sorts and "open concept" is all the rage.

Jacob and my brother both have done a fair amount of this type of work, but they are into lots of new territory. My brother is a bit more of a research how to do things (like me) and Jacob is happy cowboying it.

I stopped by as they were putting in a beam the other day since they wanted to open up some of a loadbearing wall. As they hammered the beam into place and as I watched the rafters settle onto their interim supports and as I wondered if the whole roof was about to cave in on the heads of my innocent little children, Jacob said, "How DO people get these things in?"

Let me reiterate. He said this, as he was hammering this beam in with all his might.

Jacob would probably want me to clarify that the beam went in just fine.

The other night we worked on our projected costs...while drinking these, so we mostly just argued about how high the toilets should be and as the alcohol flowed the boys were more and more sure of what they could handle without professional help. So...we shall see.

I've been pinning up a storm. Kitchen inspiration. Exterior inspiration. Pretty soon we're going to have to make decisions about appliances and flooring and paint color. We're thinking about this house as an investment and we'll probably only live in it for about a year, so these types of purchases will be heavily weighted to the practical over "what Kate really wants" but I've made my peace with it.

So far we've opened up the wall between the kitchen and the dining area and knocked out this weird pantry/closet that was jutting out into the living room. We gutted the kitchen entirely. We've ripped out the paneling and lots of old linoleum tiles, and I've walked around with a baby on my hip squawking about asbestos.

Last weekend more of my family came in, so we had ourselves a barn-raising of sorts. My dad helped with a lot of rewiring, my mother watched the kiddos so I could actually have a little fun with a crowbar myself.

Because remodel or no, my days still pretty much look both exactly and metaphorically like this:

Old Time Fredericksburg Weekend

We went to Fredericksburg last weekend. Ever since we moved to Houston last summer, we've taken lots of last minute trips to the homeland. I always brace myself a little because I get heartsick for the hill country.

This weekend just happened to be the county fair and the fair parade.

The fair parade was Friday morning. I hadn't been to this parade in over a decade. It's everything you'd want a small town parade to be. Tractors and miniature cars and more tractors and people riding horses and two seater tractors and ostentatious floats and county fair queens with their affected hand waves. Jake loved it. Multiple times since that day he's made me stop everything I'm doing so I can watch him reenact the marching band. Ms. Texas rode by in an open convertible. I didn't know there was such a thing as "Ms. Texas," so I asked my dad if it meant she was married? or something? and he said: "Divorced." A fact which he knew because he - wait for it - delivered her. As in Dr. Dad caught the squirmy little baby that would grow up to be Ms. Texas.

I left the kiddos for the entire afternoon on Friday to go watch one of my oldest friends get married. She wore a flower crown and got married on the steps of the courthouse. I had my first (and last) Michelada at this affair. Color me pansy, but I'll take my beer without tabasco sauce and all my cocktails with extra simple syrup.

Saturday was a slow day at my parents' house. Jake got to ride with my dad in the tractor. I got to follow the crawling baby around while chatting with my mother and overloading on Nespresso. Jacob went to my grandmother's to change a lightbulb for her, and returned approximately three Cribbage games later.

We spent some quality time with my Dad's observation beehive. My parents' turned my brother's old room into a a little bee theater. The observation hive sits in the back corner with a pipe leading out the window that the bees use to enter and exit the hive. The hive is tall with a long glass panel, so you can see the bees at work. For the first time on Saturday, Jacob and I got to see the queen. As she moves around the hive, a little halo of bees moves with her. Carressing her. Cleaning her. Let's hope she's not an introvert.

We went to the fair and the horseraces Saturday afternoon; Nana June came with us because that woman's got some luck. Jake was just big enough to ride the purple motorcycle. We saw the prize produce and managed to avoid buying a funnel cake despite the sweet sweet smell that tempted us all afternoon.

On Sunday we went out to a friend's ranch that has some restored buildings on it, and now Jacob has decided his dream job would be restoring century-old farmhouses. So the next house we buy might be in even worse shape.

So that was our weekend. Nothing like a good weekend update I always say.

Before I Had a Seven Year Old: Christy from Fountains of Home

I had one of those glorious mornings of waking up at 5:50 with the hope of getting SOMETHING done in the beauty and quiet of the morning...but as the fates would have it, no such peace was mine. So I'm having one of those WHY DO I EVEN TRY???? mornings. So it's probably a good time to introduce you to one of my blogging buddies who's been at this motherhood thing a lot longer than I. So here's a steaming cup of solidarity for me and the rest of you from Christy. Christy writes at Fountains of Home, and you should definitely pay her a visit and check out her posts on faith and family and books. (Christy and I almost always agree about books.)

How many kids do you have and how old are they?

We've got 5 kidlets ages 7, 5, 4, 2 and 17 months. Yes, that is 5 kids in less than six years - so our children are very close in age and it's been quite the steep learning curve for me as a mom. Our biggest age gap is 26 months and our closest in age are only 11 months apart so I've always had more than one baby around and almost always toddlers too!

What are the biggest differences in your home life now that you have slightly biggers running around and not just really littles?

I can't quite speak to this question to the fullest extent since Gemma, my oldest, has just turned 7. My three oldest are pouring their own water, getting dressed themselves, and are already handling small chores like sweeping, unloading the dishwasher, putting away laundry etc and I can't believe the difference it makes! Even these small things feel absolutely epic to me who once was changing the diapers of three babies under three! They also are very good at entertaining each other and Max, the 2 year old. I find their playing together to be invaluable and one of the best things about having kids close together - so glad there are upsides!

What's something you miss about that stage of only really littles?

Hahahahaha! You're probably going to have to get back to me after menopause in order for me to answer this one.

Oh wait, you said only littles. So I'd say being able to watch trashy tv or swear without them being instantly adversely affected. I know. I shouldn't miss these things, but personal growth and everything...

What are some things you did with your first baby that in hindsight seem a little ridiculous?

Probably compare their growth and progress on a monthly basis to other babies. I remember worrying over Gemma not crawling and not walking and when she should eat this or that, and I'm just so glad I'm not burning brain cells on that stuff anymore because really, babies just grow and you can just relax because infancy truly flies by and everyone really does learn to walk and talk and eat. I honestly have to stop and work out how many months Nora (my baby) is now because the monthly growth business doesn't even enter my mind anymore. I've become much better at enjoying whatever stage they're at because I have the perspective of a few children to know that even the most precious or frustrating stage is really a stage. There is light at the end of the tunnel/a sad time when they won't be a baby anymore. 

What's something you stressed about that doesn't stress you out at all anymore?

A lot about growth and development I think. I wish I took that back for my first baby. Also I just wish I didn't stress so much about changing their routines or sleeping arrangements so much. Babies adapt so much better than we think, we just have to stick to what we decide we want to do. Now when we want or need to change something we know there will be a period of adjustment that can be rough/exhausting/frustrating but that the child will eventually adapt and be fine. 

Describe a moment, if you can remember one, where you definitely did not have it together.

There's been a lot. I'm not going to lie. I think I've let naked toddlers deliberately spill boxes of cereal on the floor in order that I didn't have to get up with a sleeping baby on me. It is certainly difficult having three very small children all in diapers and being completely dependent on you for everything. I think that was the most challenging time for me, it was a very, very basic survival mode where I just had the expectation of getting through a day. And to be honest that expectation got me through. I think I've adjusted my level of what's acceptable a lot and it helps. I have an acceptable threshold of chaos. If I want to spend some time, I'm talking about 10 minutes, on the phone with a friend, writing a blog post, cooking dinner I have come to expect that a room will become a complete disaster. Sometimes that's just unavoidable. Does that mean I have it altogether? No, it means I'm mortgaging ten free minutes with a dirty basement.

I've had seven years of multiple babies/toddlers/children needing me constantly. I think if I go a day without having to lock myself in a bathroom I consider that a major win! 

What's an expectation for yourself/your kids/your husband that you have totally let go of?

I think one of the most important ones especially when all your kids are toddlers is to let go of the expectation that everyone will be happy all the time. I think this is a concept of parenting that really impedes us enjoying ourselves or being miserable all the time. It's really easy for us as moms to think we have to make our kids happy all the time, because when they're infants we have the ability to make them happy all the time, or for the most part anyway. But once you've got multiple children, especially toddlers not everyone is going to be happy all the time. There's going to be crying and whining; you're not going to make everything better for everyone in the same instant. I think once I figured this out, and I really had to once I had my third baby, I understood that I'd focus on meeting the most needy in the moment and move down the scale of neediness. The kids grew in patience and the knowledge that they're not the centre of the universe and I let go of the burden of believing that to be a good mother my children had to be happy, non-screaming, non-crying, non-whining at every waking moment. There is difference between caring for your children well and making them happy all the time. It's beyond exhausting and darn near impossible to make toddlers happy all the time. It didn't take me too long to figure this out, but once I made the realization it freed me to not feel like a failure on the days that my kids just whined and cried no matter what I did. 

Making the decision that my mood won't be dependent on their mood also helped a lot. It took my husband longer to learn that, and maybe we're both still learning that, but the babies can be crabby but that doesn't mean I have to be. I may need to remind myself of this axiom about 100 times a day, though.

How do you conquer nap strikes?

Well, I come down on them with the iron fist of motherly dictatorship. Seriously. Sleeping and napping to me are the most important thing in parenting. Which really tells you that my children are not old, and that I've dealt with a lot of toddlers at a time. But honestly, the best advice I can give any mother is to be religiously consistent with their kids and insist on naps from the start. It gives you freedom. It gives you time. It gives you that break for sanity. The best thing I've done with my babies is to sleep train them. I thought I really subscribed to attachment parenting before I had children, then once I had them I realized that my sanity could not tolerate a little time and space built into my day that I could depend on. I still believe in attachment parenting philosophically, I just don't feel the physical element is as important as the books say. So hopefully that doesn't make me heartless!

I'm so happy I taught them to fall asleep themselves when I put them down, and to expect that nap time everyday. It can be a struggle to get them to that point but it is so worth it, especially if you plan on more kids or are open to having no plan when it comes to future children because having a stable routine and babies that slept well was really a lifesaver when it came to having a bunch of kids in a short period of time. 

As a new mother, how did you find time for yourself?

My husband has always been really great in insisting I need time for myself and always being willing to take his shift of kid time. I live in a pretty isolated area and sometimes the only way I can get out and go to a Starbucks or a Costco is to leave for most of the day when he's home from work. When it's really hard for me to get out he always lets me sleep in on weekends and that has been a real sanity saver for me. To have a mini-break from getting up early and dealing with the morning chaos makes me feel refreshed and as if I actually have a weekend and I just can't recommend that small idea enough. Other things that help me when I don't have a bunch of time is even a half hour at Adoration, or maybe an hour locked in my room just reading. It feels frivolous at the time when you've got a filthy kitchen or unvacuumed mess, but doing a little of what refreshes you meaningfully makes a world a difference in the long haul of mothering babies who are up at all hours day in, day out. My family also lives close by and are always willing to take a kid or two no matter the time and I have quite pathetically called my mom at 6 am after being up all night with a baby begging for her to take my other kids and she always does!

How did you find time to encourage your marriage?

I don't know if I'm an expert in this subject because we don't get dates nights often, maybe a couple times a year - which is terrible if I think about it for more than a minute, so moving on quickly! 

Luckily we're both homebodies and we both look forward to just being home together. Because of our sleep training of the kids they've always gone to bed at a good hour and my husband and I usually spend some time doing our own thing, then do something together every night. We also always go to bed at the same time which hasn't been easy at different times of our marriage but it really lends more intimacy to our everyday that could easily not be there. It's a good habit in our marriage that we work at, even when it means my husband has learned to go to sleep with the light on as I read.

If you could go back and tell something to your newmom self, what would it be?

Probably it would be something like, you're going to get better at this. It's just so overwhelming to be a mom for the first time that everything feels so hard, and so unimaginable, and so tough. But every year you get better, which makes things easier even when you don't think it could be possible. I don't remember hearing that when I became a mom and I really wish I did. It's really nice to hear any kind of affirmation in your motherhood at any time in your motherhood career I think! 

Thanks for reading and thank you so much to Christy! And if any of you veteran moms are interested in sharing your own stories from the early years be sure to link up here.

Five Favorites: Movies

Linking up with Heather to bring you some five favorites this afternoon because it looks like I've got two sleepers and my fingers are itching. Blythe has been writing up her love story over at her house and if you haven't read it you should really stop reading now and click over. Her love story has a lot of Wes Anderson in it, so it got me thinking about movies. But not just any movies. MY movies. The movies that just got me. You know. Like in high school when you just wanted to be understood. These were the movies that, if we'd met ten years ago, I would've shown you and watched every reaction you had.

You don't have to like them. You probably won't.

But if you watch them, and you do, or if you've already watched them and you do, we should have ourselves a fat chat about them down there in the combox. I don't really do "combox debates" but this post might be an exception.

Enchanted April

This is a movie about a motley collection of British ladies who escape to Italy for a holiday. It's a bit of a "find yourself abroad" type thing - that must be a genre...right? Elizabeth Gilbert isn't that original. Anyhow. It's brilliant. The women all leave London seeking isolation but they find themselves in new and renewed relationships.

Strictly Ballroom

I rented this VHS randomly one Friday with a friend in high school, and we were totally weirded out by it initially because it's very weird. It's Australian. I bet it's even weird for Australia. Saturated colors. Saturated characters.

It's the classic plot line of homely girl gets makeover and hot guy falls in love with her. And there's dancing. Watch it. (Maybe with alcohol.)

A Room with a View

I read this book ages ago when I still read classic literature, but I don't remember it. The movie however is enchanting. More enchanting than Enchanted April even. It's a "find yourself abroad" while Maggie Smith is babysitting you movie and therefore great.

But also weird. Helena Bonham Carter is in it, and she's the most normal part. Perhaps this was her gateway or something. There's also a scene of men being very innocent and very naked together. I think the Brits call it bathing. Don't say I didn't warn ya.

Shaun of the Dead

Zombie. Apocalypse. Simon Pegg. Nick Frost. I could just stop there.

Some of my guy friends in college subjected me to a bunch of very bad zombie apocalypse movies. They twisted my arm to watch Shaun of the Dead, insisting that I would love it because it was British and I was snobby. So I watched it with them and they were right. It was my intro into the comedic genius of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost (I see you, Jessie.) and I will defend its relative merits over Hot Fuzz all day any day.

Drop Dead Gorgeous

Small town pageantry gets...lethal. It's over the top and unbelievable and sacrilegious, but I just find it...hilarious. When the trailor park cosmetologist's hand gets melted onto her can of lite beer...Do I need to say anything else?

Before I Had a Seven Year Old: Colleen Martin of Martin Family Moments

A big welcome to my friend Colleen who is doing this installment of Before I Had a Seven Year Old, a series where I ask women about their early experience of motherhood. 

Colleen blogs about family life over at Martin Family Moments. I knew I would ask Colleen to contribute to this series because of this little post she wrote about Mother's Day back in May. I'm so excited to have her here today.

 

How many kids do you have and how old are they?

I have six kiddos, John-Paul is 11, Andrew is 9, Eamon is 7, Maggie is 6, Alexander is almost 3, and Declan is 3 months.

What are the biggest differences in your home life now that you have slightly biggers running around and not just really littles?

I just need to start out by saying that the most difficult "season" of being a mother so far was when I had all little ones.  When my fourth baby was born, my oldest was only 4 years old. They all needed so much from me! When my 6th baby was born, my oldest was 11, and actually the oldest four kids are all at very easy ages. They are independent enough that they don't rely on me for everything, but not too old that I'm worried about a whole new set of parenting issues. They are in that sweet spot, which for me is the elementary school age group. When we leave the house, everyone can get themselves dressed and shoes on, help me carry a diaper bag, or hold the toddler's hand. They can all climb in the car and buckle themselves up. My main job now is to take care of the baby and shout out orders :)

What's something you miss about that stage of only really littles?

The grocery bills!!! Haha, they eat so much now, and we're not even in the teenage years yet! I think I also miss that they were all so very excited about anything we did - be it a trip to the playground, the library, Target. Everything was new and exciting and fun. Now, when I have to go run errands, I get a few moans and groans. When they are little, they don't talk back!

What's something you stressed about that doesn't stress you out at all anymore?

Breastfeeding.  I used to worry about how much milk I was making and would feed my firstborn on a schedule instead of on demand. I would always separate myself from a group to go feed the baby, and felt like I was missing out on fun parties and meals because of it. With the first baby, we had to supplement a bottle of formula at night because he was a teeny little one, and that stressed me out because "breast is best" and all that jazz. Now I'm just like, whatever, I breastfeed as long as everyone is happy, and give formula whenever it's needed. A happy and healthy baby AND mommy AND other family members are the goal.

Have you ever (metaphorically...or literally) locked yourself in the bathroom to stay sane? I want to hear about that moment.

When things get rough, I exercise to stay sane. It's my alone time and my mental health boost. I didn't discover how much I needed it until after my 4th baby was born, and once I made it a priority, everything in life felt easier. I used to have my sneakers on and as soon as my husband would get home from work, I would hand him the baby and jet out the door for a quick run. Sometimes I give myself timeouts when I can tell I'm especially grumpy or angry and go take a shower or lay down in bed for 15 minutes, thanking God for all the blessings I have. Because a thankful heart is a happy heart, some wise VeggieTales told me.

As a new mother, how did you find time for yourself?

Yeah, I didn't do too hot on that. I think most new moms devote themselves to the kids and forget to make some time for themselves for their mental and physical health. My breaks back then were in the form of grocery shopping sans kids once my husband returned home from work. Once I realized I could join a gym that offered childcare, my breaks were working out for an hour in the morning while the kids played. I can't emphasize the importance of finding some exercise time to moms.

How did you find time to encourage your marriage?

I'll let you in on a little secret of marital success - put the kids to bed early!! Phil and I have about 2 hours every night that we are awake and by ourselves, and it's awesome. We try to get all our household chores and work done before 8 pm and can watch tv together, talk, eat something fancier than normal, whatever. Of course, all that alone time is probably why we have so many kids :)

How did you build community for yourself and for your family?

This is something that has taken us years and years to do. We are so lucky that many of our friends are people who work with us or go to our parish. We purposely chose jobs and a parish that allowed for that. Back when I started having babies and didn't know a lot of people, I joined a Moms Club and did activities with them, which really helped alleviate that lonely feeling you get being a SAHM. Then we started having Sunday night football parties during football season, which morphed into Sunday night game nights when football was over. Those times were really wonderful because most of the people who came didn't have kids, so we could just put our kids to bed and not worry about a babysitter but still have social time. Once we joined our current parish, we met some lovely families that have become friends, and anytime we've been involved in a group (like a Men's Prayer Group, or my bookclub) we have the opportunity to make new friends. You can't make friends by isolating yourself in your house all day. Even though sometimes I would like too :)

What's one specific thing you're glad that you've taught your older children?

That children are a blessing.  See their reaction when we told them we were expecting baby #6 :)

What was your hardest transition after having a newborn? 0 to 1 kid? 1 to 2? 6 to 7? Why?

The hardest was going from 2 to 3 kids for many reasons. One, your two oldest are not very old and still need a lot of help. Two, your hands are outnumbered by your kids and going anywhhere becomes a safety and logistical nightmare. And three, our third baby was colicky and definitely my most difficult baby.  

If you could go back and tell something to your newmom self, what would it be?

Everything is a passing phase. When you're going through it, it fells like forever, but it doesn't last. That goes for all the good and bad things associated with being a parent. Also, it gets easier as they get older. Pinky swear.

Thanks for reading and thank you so much to Colleen! And if you veteran moms are interested in sharing your own stories from the early years be sure to link up here.

All About the Kiddos

I've decided to bang out some updates on the kiddos because I'm feeling like doing something fresh and new.

Lucy June is now crawling and pulling herself to standing and cruising.

She signs "more". . . only in regards to food. . . and she has yet to sign "all done." #porker

She is by no means "talking," but she has a word, and it's "ddjah" for...Jake. She's been making that sound for him since she was like seven months old, but I wasn't sure until recently it was legit. But it's legit. Perhaps she's linguistically advanced. Or perhaps she's just that obsessed with her brother. She has recently started saying "Mama," so I guess that makes me a...not very close second.

We've started sleep training her. We do it the wimpy way. The stay in the room and soothe and soothe and hope that baby will eventually fall asleep in her crib and isn't just developing entirely new sleep crutches. So far. . . pretty good. I'll confess that over the last ten months of her life, she has rarely slept for longer than an hour without the body of her mother next to her. This makes cosleeping not so terrible: she's a good little snuggler, but it does mean that I've been nursing her back to sleep three times in between when she goes to bed around 8 and I go to bed around 11. Which also hasn't been SO SO bad because...hello smart phone and social media addiction.

Since we started a little training she has begun sleeping through the. . . evening. Good on us. And around 1am I bring her into our bed because I have no nocturnal self-discipline. Someday someday she will sleep through the night, but until then I'm choosing to look on the bright child-spacing side.

Ok. I'll be done now with the whole baby sleep schedule part.

She has developed a persistent affection for...beer pong balls.

The story of why we have so many beer pong balls in the house is long and not very incriminating, so probably not worth sharing. But my, does Lucy June love them.

Double fisting.



And Jake.

He's three, so I guess we're in the whole "how independent are you?" phase. He wants to do everything BY! MYSELF! And parenting him is pretty much a circle of letting him try to do things himself and then dealing with the mess or not letting him do things himself and dealing with his freak outs. Jacob and I consistently differ on what we think is OK for Jake to try to do by himself. I'm cool with him trying to put jam on his own toast; Jacob is not. Jacob is cool with letting him do flips on the couch; I am. . . too, if I leave the room.

He's mostly potty trained, but has the occasional accident. He wet his pants the other day, and when I asked if he'd peed a little on his shorts, he said condescendingly, "Yeah. It's OK." I half expected him to pat my knee or something.

He loves playing with Legos, well, Mega Bloks. His favorite things to build are rockets, planes, and. . . stairs.


He spent this afternoon playing a make believe game in which he gave names to Jacob, Lucy June, and me. They were Clank, Flank, and Skank.

Respectively.

And he was Joe.